How to Clear a Hoarder’s Home: A Step-by-Step Guide for Johannesburg Families

Often, a senior’s decision to move from their home into a senior living community comes about because of an event such as a fall or the death of a spouse. This change also often brings about an awareness or awakening in the children, enabling them to see the situation more accurately for what it really is.  Hoarding can often be hidden by a parent, and a turn of events can bring it to the fore. The need for clearing a hoarder’s home becomes apparent.

The children’s response is often to bulldoze…  To go into the situation ‘guns blazing’.  The idea is to address the physical problem by attempting, in as quick a time as possible, to remove as much ‘stuff’ as they can.  While this always comes from the right place, it may not be the right approach.

Below are some steps to help you with the clearing process from a respectful, understanding perspective.  This approach may take a little more time, but it will yield better results in the end with a lot less stress for your parent and yourself.

Steps for clearing a hoarder’s home with compassion

Start with the conversation

You may need to start the conversation and try a few times.  But you are going to have more success if you don’t accuse or get confrontational.  Avoid words that will make your parent become defensive.  Ask your parent what their goals are for their home, emphasise that you are not judging, that what happens at home is private and confidential, and that you will not go talk about it to anyone.  

Remember that decisions should be made by your parent, or at least they should be fully involved and on board with them, if at all possible.  It is almost impossible to declutter and sort a senior’s home if they don’t want to.  Avoid telling them what to do or what you will be doing; instead, ask what they would like to achieve and how you can help them achieve it. Choose one project to begin the process — for example, the garage or storeroom.

Agree on a realistic schedule

Agree on a daily or weekly schedule, but be realistic about what you will achieve. Tackling a project more often for a shorter period helps keep everyone’s emotions in check. If you find that emotions start running high, take a break or leave it for the day. Once your parent feels attacked or gets defensive, you are unlikely to achieve anything positive that day. Be sure to acknowledge small victories and to keep motivating and encouraging.

Set a schedule

Be patient and keep removing cleared items

Understanding that this process is difficult for your parent and supporting them through it is important. It is also important to remove the temptation to clear the items you have managed to clear as quickly as possible. Having a skip on site is a good idea — alternatively, be sure to remove all discarded items promptly. The last thing you want is to spend all the time and effort to clear a room or area only to have your parent bring these discarded items back into the home.

Know when to bring in a neutral third party

If you try this process but find that you are just too closely or emotionally involved, and it becomes frustrating and counterproductive, you may decide to bring in a neutral 3rd party.  A Senior Moving Manager can assist with clearing and sorting from an empathetic, constructive perspective.  

For more information on hoarding and clearing a hoarder’s home, visit the website of The Institute of Challenging Disorganisation – https://www.challengingdisorganization.org/clutter-hoarding-scale-  or speak to Marylou at Clear Path to see how we can assist.

Click here for an article describing a collector, clutterer and hoarder or here for an article about identifying when help is needed.